not open to discussion or modification.
It is not a word I used a lot until I started working at this amazing place called KIPP ENC with some amazing humans teaching tiny humans. Shoutout to the crew in HALIFAX! I cannot figure out if I miss my colleagues or my tiny humans more.
So now that I have gotten that out of my system we can talk about the (real, true) reason for this blog. Have you ever pondered on what your non-negotiables are? What will you NOT accept under any circumstances? Have your “non-negotiables” ever changed once you experienced something and (realized the situation was not the thing that would make you want to blow a gasket) Can you explain this a little better?. For example: your colleague trying to throw you under a bus to your direct supervisor and they work in an entirely different department. Is that a non-negotiable for you? Are you confronting that colleague or letting it ride? Okay another example, your significant other tells you a bold face lie and then shuts down all conversation about it. Is she or he just being plain ole disrespectful? Now, is that a non-negotiable for you; like okay playa we are done or is that something you can come back to discuss once all parties have calmed down?
Whatever your non-negotiable is, hold to it. Do not let up for anything because people will start to think they can do whatever they want to you, however, whenever. The non-negotiable does not have to make you leave your job, stop being friends with someone or breakup with your significant other, but it should be something that you think seriously about. It is not necessarily something you have to broadcast to the world but just something to make people in your life aware of.
At KIPP, the classroom non-negotiables were that alphabets, and numbers must be visible from all aspects in the classroom. The site words must also be visible, you must see the entire classroom from where your reading table is. Your non negotiables could be as simple and concise as KIPP. Decide what you need and what do not need and make it as clear as the letters and numbers on the wall. Like it was written and verbally told to us and just incase we forgot, we were reminded daily before school started.
PERSONALLY, here are a few of mine, my non-negotiables are simple no blatant disrespect, cheating or entertaining anyone in any form, do not allow your friends and family to disrespect me and you allow them to think that it's okay. Attempting to embarrass me privately or in public. LISTEN TO ME! In that same exact place, you thought you would attempt to embarrass me, I will for sure get you together. I prefer transparency over honesty, but both are great characteristics to have. A few of everyday non-negotiables are I need an hour after work to gather my thoughts of the day. A few non-negotiables for my friendship please know I am not competing with you in aspect of life. If you are upset please tell me, friends should be able to have hard conversation with one another and still be friends. I will not be your yes man and I do not want a yes man in my corner but what is expected and needed is a true friend without a doubt. I mean you cannot have a friend without being a friend. Narrow down your non negotiables inform people. What goes unspoken, goes unheard and your expectations are unknown. So figure out your non negotiables and expectations with your job, your family and even your friends. Think about what you want any relationship to feel like and represent.
Set boundaries and non-negotiables for yourself and others.